So, it’s that time of year. We’re all thinking of how we can be better in 2019. How can I be a better person? How can I have a better body? Eat better? Love better? Just BE better?
What if we stop looking at ways to be better and just look at ways to be happy? Sure, Horrible Mom, let’s just do that. Let’s just BE happy. Like it’s that easy.
I get that it doesn’t seem possible at times. I get that life gets in the way. I get that finances are tough, kids are tough, work is tough. I truly believe, however, that we can be better if our goal is to be happy better. So, I’ve compiled a list of ways we can just be happy better.
Let Others’ Judgements Roll of Your Shoulders
People are mean, especially to moms. If they weren’t, I wouldn’t have this blog. When someone makes some judgement about me or my parenting, I can feel the anger welling up inside and the snarky remarks instantly come to mind.
This year, let’s let it roll off our shoulders. Our anger only affects us. Our snarky remarks only reinforce what they believe, even though it almost definitely makes us feel better.
Know that THEIR remarks say so much more about them than you. Their guilt and their second-guessing lead them to judge others. Don’t give in to the anger. Laugh it off. Know that you are a rockstar mom. Choose happiness.
Accept the Mess
This is a tough one, especially for you ultra-clean mamas. I want you to know something– it’s okay. It’s okay to have a messy house. It’s okay for something to not be cleaned right away. It’s okay that laundry hasn’t been done in a week, two weeks, three weeks (as long as y’all have some clothes to wear, it’s okay). It’s okay when messes happen.
Accept it. Embrace it. Love it. A messy home means a lived-in home.
Lean on Others
This is the hardest one for me. I’m proud. I’m stubborn. I’m independent. Sometimes, though, I need help.
Needing help isn’t wrong. It’s okay to need help. Repeat that moms: it’s okay to need help. It’s okay to not be able to do things alone. It’s okay to need help and not feel guilty.
It’s also okay to seek professional help if you need it, too. By that, I mean PLEASE seek professional help if you need it. If you’re at all familiar with my blog, you know how incredibly pro therapy I am.
Lean on others. You deserve the help. You deserve the rest. You deserve to use your community.
Laugh at mistakes
Y’all, kids fall. Kids destroy things. Kids color on walls.
Moms drop things. Moms forget things. Moms cannot watch everything 24/7. Things happen.
When mistakes happen, you are not a failure. You are a human being. Love yourself. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your kids. Laugh at the burned chili, at the Jackson Pollack that now decorates your living room, at the stains on your sweater.
Mistakes happen. Laugh at them. Learn from them. Love through them.
Don’t Take Frustrations Out on Your Kids or Significant Other
I know this is a tough one and I know we don’t mean to. I promise you, you’ll be so much happier if we can find the space to breathe, calm down, and react. Take that extra time to communicate effectively.
Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. In those moments of frustration, all I see is red. I yelled at my husband just a moment ago because I couldn’t figure out my website. Apparently, my husband designed the internet which caused my stuff not to work…
Now, taking it out on others is very different than just not communicating. Communicate away. Voice your frustrations and anger. All I’m suggesting is we do so semi-productively. Don’t let your frustrations with work spill over into the home. Don’t let your frustrations with your kids spill over into an argument with your spouse. Take that time, mama. Breathe. Think to yourself, “Is THIS why I’m angry?” I love you, mama. Take the time you need.
Leave Work Behind
I know. This is another one of those that are easier said than done, especially if you’ve got a high stress job. I promise you, if you find some time at least once a week where you leave work at work, you’ll be a much happier person. Even once a night– from 7:30-8:30, that’s my time with my kids. Work can wait.
I also understand that finances can be tough and that working hard and often is the only to way to make ends meet. I get it, believe me. I know our goals may not always happen. If you have it as a goal, it will happen more often than you realize. Your health is just as important as putting in that extra hour.
When you drown yourself in work, all you’ll accomplish is drowning.
Take time for self-care.
I get it. This is a tough one, too. We are among those who are attached to their phones.
Put it down. Read a book. Play a board game. Color.
The less codependent we are on our devices, the happier we’ll be. I promise. You deserve to be independent. Drop the baggage. Drop the phone.
Y’all…nature is magical. Nature immediately helps you relax. Nature allows you to explore a world that we deny ourselves when we lock ourselves inside, behind our screens, and focused on our work.
Just trust me…go outside more. You deserve the wonders of trees. Do it. Do it now.
Take Time for Self-Care
I know, I know. Most of you moms are laughing at this.
Don’t you want to be the best version of you? Honestly, you can only do that through self-care. You need to find that 20 minutes a day or an hour a week or whatever it is to just BE you.
Sometimes we hide ourselves in the bathroom. Sometimes we hole ourselves up in our closet eating Snickers. This is a start, but know that it’s okay to take time for self-care that isn’t hiding away somewhere.
Ask for help so you can go on that jog or get that massage. Take a 30 minute bath while your significant other watches the kids. Call a friend while you just sit for a while. Take turns with another mom– I bet they’d like that, too.
Try to take time for yourself. I cannot stress how much you need and deserve this, mama. Make 2019 the year of you.
This is the big one, mamas. 2019 is the time. Love yourself.
You are more than your job. You are more than your significant other. You are more than your kids. You are you. Love yourself.
Know that you are worthy of love. You may make mistakes, you may crumble and cry, you may have breakdowns. That’s okay. Through the tough times, remember, you are worthy of love. You are. I promise.
We may be horrible moms sometimes, but we are always deserving of love.
I love you. Happy 2019.